Monday, February 6, 2012

Pity Party, Party of 1

I've written at least five posts today and gone back and deleted them every time. Everything is coming out depressing and blah right now. And while, I might be having those feelings, I also feel ridiculous for expressing them when I have so many good things in my life right now too.


The other night I was talking to my husband and I ended up breaking down and crying about just how hard it is to be an adult. I was tired of feeling guilty about wanting to do things for myself, I was tired of feeling run down, I was tired of feeling tired. I've been having a hard time finding the joy in life lately. Everything feels like a chore....even the good things. 


The sad thing is that no one is to blame for the way that I feel except myself. I cause so many of my own problems. If someone else were to blame I could easily tell them how to fix it, but when it comes to fixing me, I struggle. 


I'm trying hard to keep a happy face, but really even that is tiring. Truth be told I just want to sink into a hole and hide for a little bit. I constantly feel like I have to give myself a pep talk to get through life. "It's okay, you can do this." "Just start doing something and things will fall back into place." I'm missing my zeal for life right now and I want more than anything to get it back. 


I'm almost embarrassed to publish this post because I'm aware of the annoying whininess. I'm sure this will pass, but for now I'm just going to keep pushing my way through life. Hopefully, before I know it, I'll be waltzing my way through instead of pushing. 


17 comments :

  1. Hang in there! I TOTALLY understand. Life is hard and definitely harder at times. You're only human. Don't beat yourself up too much. This is your space. You write whatever you want :)

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  2. Sorry you're having such a hard time. Hope things take a turn for the better soon!

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  3. I have been feeling the exact same way! But with no good reason at all. Feels sort of like life is racing past me and I can't keep up. Maybe it's a bit of the winter blues...who knows. But you're not alone girl. I hope yours passes soon.

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  4. Keep your head up girl!
    I have had these very same moments as well! Funny thing is...is that when you don't expect it you find your good feeling and groove back :-)

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  5. I am so sorry - totally been there before. Keep your head up and hug that sweet boy. Praying for you.

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  6. The truth is that at some point in our lives we feel so breakable and clueless as to how to pick up the pieces. Finding the "zeal" is might be hard right now, but it's just the universes way of making you appreciate even more once you do find it. Don't be embarrassed! Your experience touches others and let's them know they aren't alone.

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  7. Do not be embarrassed at all for publishing this post. This is NOT whininess. This is REAL. LIFE. Feelings. It's something that you are going through, and something that we have all experienced at one point or another in our lives. You are an amazing woman, mother, and wife, and believe me, this too will pass.

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  8. Hey lady, I don't comment often but I'm so sorry to see you in this state - one which I'm also often in but rarely talk about - so I thought I'd give my two cents for what its worth. Maybe you should try seeing a counselor. Maybe even consider some meds. Even a low dose would really help make you feel like youre not constantly down and being tired all the time is definitely a sign of depression. There are things you can do and there's no shame in doing them. The only shame is in not doing anything it all. Good luck!

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  9. Do NOT be embarrassed! First, we've all been there, or at least I have and it's tough! Second, that's what this community is here for, to support you in good and bad! Keep pushing, Laura, and I'm sure without realizing it you'll soon be waltzing :) Thinking of you sweet lady!

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  10. I see nothing annoying or whiny about this post at all, girl. We've all been there. It feels good to get it out.

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  11. Totally understand. I thought that being a SAHM would solve all of my problems and that I wouldnt cry so much but sometimes I think it might be worse bc theres no distraction. You arent alone, so dont feel like you cant share!

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  12. Totally understand. I thought that being a SAHM would solve all of my problems and that I wouldnt cry so much but sometimes I think it might be worse bc theres no distraction. You arent alone, so dont feel like you cant share!

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  13. Totally understand. I thought that being a SAHM would solve all of my problems and that I wouldnt cry so much but sometimes I think it might be worse bc theres no distraction. You arent alone, so dont feel like you cant share!

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  14. Totally understand. I thought that being a SAHM would solve all of my problems and that I wouldnt cry so much but sometimes I think it might be worse bc theres no distraction. You arent alone, so dont feel like you cant share!

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  15. I'm so sorry girl! I totally get it too. I think that there are certain situations in life that make us so emotional and leave us feeling helpless/hopeless and everything revolves around that. I think it's healthy that you are processing your feelings and sharing them here and thus inspiring others.

    Find a tiny moment during your day that makes you feel ok and normal, or even better. one that makes you feel great. Explode it. Relish it. Believe in it. Everything will fall into place, but there's no other way to say it but lots of time the in between time SUCKS!

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  16. Hang in there, lady. We all go through these phases and I just hope that you'll find your zeal again soon.

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  17. I think that I could echo this in some ways! Glad you posted cause its not whiny, its real! I blame the weather. I think when it warms up things will be more uplifting!

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