I Just Want to Bottle Him Up

The past few weeks I have found myself just soaking up Ethan. We have finally made it past the uncontrollable toddler stage and arrived at some sort of reasoning phase. Of course things are still difficult and a battle of wills at times, but lately Ethan has been easier....happier really. In fact, just the other day, Ethan's teachers were telling me they have noticed how much happier he is in general; that his personality is shining through. 

There is something simply magical about a child running happily about with a smile on their face in their own little world. I sat there watching him do just that this past weekend running around the driveway with his little lawn mower just giggling to himself and it struck me that I couldn't remember the last time I've felt that way. He just seemed so carefree. I guess being carefree really is the blessing of childhood. 

Oh how I hope that he gets to stay that way as long as possible! 

At this age we have our children in a little bubble completely protected from all the meanness that the world can serve up. Part of me knows that we are on the brink of having to let him experience those things. He's starting to grow his wings. He is already in school (MDO) and I know that as these little ones develop their words and emotions that things are going to happen. Not everyone is going to get along, not everyone is going to be nice, not everyone is going to be included. 

It breaks my heart to think that he is going to have to experience these things or even at times be the cause of those things. He is going to get his feelings hurt. He is going to be disliked at times. He is going to realize that he is not always the best at whatever it is he is doing. I've cried over this really. Multiple times as silly as that sounds. As blissful as childhood is at times, I know that it's also equally as difficult. 

As much as I hate it, I know that these experiences are necessary evils. They are part of a learning experience. They help you become a stronger person, a nicer person, a better person. I just hope when the time comes that I can help him deal with these experiences in the best way possible. 

I want so badly to just bottle up this carefree stage for him, but I'm already starting to see a little bit of uncertainty peek through in my normally very independent and confident little boy. He's beginning to realize there are wrong answers, wrong actions and unfairness in life. I can't protect him forever. I just hope that I can give him the tools to come through childhood as strong and happy as he is in this very moment.