Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Emotional Post We All Knew Would Happen at Some Point

For whatever reason (let's call it hormones) I've been crazy emotional this week. Tears, joy...I've covered the range. With my husband gone this week I've had some time at night to just sit, think, reflect, know...those things we use to be able to do before we were moms when things like quiet time actually existed. I use to lie in bed and think at night, reflect on my day, the things that were coming up, things that had already happened and now most nights, I turn off the light and close my eyes too exhausted to even think about one more single thing. 

I've relished the one on one time I've had with my son this week. I've soaked up all his kisses and cuddles. I've reflected on the almost two years we have had of just us and thought about what things are going to be like when there is another precious little soul around. 

I've been overly anxious about what things are going to be like when Jackson arrives. I so desperately want to soak up every single moment with him in the sweet newborn days that I now know pass all too quickly. I worry about the fact that Christmas and all the hoopla that comes with it will be mere days after his birth. I'm anxious that all the people, all the Christmas festivities and the big adjustments that will take place will be too much for Ethan to handle all at once. I worry about how I will handle it. Part of me just wants to tell everyone to stay home. Part of me wants to be completely selfish with this baby. I don't want to share. I want to soak in every moment because I know I'm not promised another one. 

My love for my husband has grown even stronger this week. His being away has reminded me how much we need him around here, how happy he makes me and how lucky Ethan and I are to have him in our lives. I've found myself praying for him multiple times as he gets onto each airplane. Maybe it's pregnancy or maybe it's just having children, but the thought of how fragile life is constantly dangles in the back of my mind. 

I've rejoiced in new found friends and have been wowed by their thoughtfulness and big hearts this week as they have entertained me and kept me from losing my mind this week. I feel so lucky to have found some great people in this new town so soon and totally thank God that things have fallen into place for us so quickly.

I've felt joy as I've reflected on how even though I feel completely overwhelmed with life right now that most everything is falling into place just how we need it. It's been an emotional week of reflection and looking ahead, but I think I needed it. I need that time to just catch up on my feelings and really be able to deal with them and not just push them aside. Sometimes a little alone time...can really do you some good.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I'm So Not Cool

I didn't think this would happen for several more years, but kid thinks I'm uncool. 

Yep. At the ripe age of 23 months my first born has decided to toss me to the curb like yesterday's newspaper. 

Daddy is the cool one now. And I get it...he's a pretty cool guy. Ethan is all boy these days. He wants to help daddy fix things, play with trucks, get in the mud, know...guy stuff. And who better than to do all those things with than daddy right?

But, the kid won't even hold my hand in public anymore if Daddy is around. Not only does he refuse to hold my hand, but he acts like I have some sort of viral disease that might just kill him if I so much as touch him. He will, in fact, collapse on the floor in typical two year old tantrum fashion. 

Diaper changes in the morning have become a battle of wills. He screams for Da-Da who has left for work and will refuse to let me change his diaper. Apparently he needs this 10 plus minutes of mourning to accept the fact that only mama will be around.

Photos of me and my boy? Forget it! If mommy is in the picture he will have nothing to do with it. 

Case and point...he was all sunshine and lollipops until mommy snuck in the scene.

This week though?

Daddy's out of town. 

(Insert evil laughter)

It's full on mommy time kiddo. And guess what? Instead of throwing massive fits,  he is actually showing me some love. 

He's asking me to sit with him. He gives me random hugs. He held my hand at the park and has acted as if he might actually need me from time to time for something other than fetching his milk. 

It's been refreshing.

I know deep down he still loves his mommy, and I'm totally cool with him having his daddy phase. I guess a part of me knows that our days of just mommy and E are numbered  and that's the part that gets to me the most.

Today I soaked up all the E time I could get. I even sat with him in the hot car for a good 30 minutes after we got back from the park as he practiced his driving skills. (No one call was turned off, no keys even in sight)

Did you know that wearing your sunglasses upside down was all the rage? 
Apparently I missed that memo.
 No wonder I've been losing cool points. 

He insisted I sit in the passenger seat and make sure all the doors were closed. We opened and closed the garage door, practiced our turn signals, flashed our hazards and turned the volume way up n our imaginary radio (aka me..singing the ABC's). My little chauffeur even handed me an extra pair of shades to put on (upside down of course) as we cruised away. 

I must admit, I've got one pretty cool son and all that coolness is hard to keep up with. I'm sure I'll have my glory days again sometime, but for now I'm soaking up what little mommy loving I get while daddy is away. 

Although it hasn't completely hit me yet, I know that our little world is about to be rocked with a new addition and my time is going to be spread a little thinner. I know everyone says that there will just be more love to go around and I know that's true, but part of me wonders if I'll be able to juggle it all to everyones satisfaction.

These past couple of days haven't been the easiest without the hubs around, but I've enjoyed being the star of Ethan's little world again. These toddler days are rough on a mom, but I wouldn't trade them for the world. His crazy antics are what keeps my world spinning. 

Monday, September 24, 2012


I feel like life has been going 100 mph lately and honestly I don't see it slowing down any in the near future. That's quite alright though. Everything that is going on is fun and exciting, but I do look forward to a slow down in January once the baby arrives. Sometimes when things are flying by so fast I find it hard to sit back and reflect. I'm so caught up in the moment, just living, but at the same time there are somethings I feel I at least need to make note of. 

- Ethan is unbelievably full of life. If my life is going 100mph then his is going at least 200mph. He is less than 2 weeks away from being an official two year old. I say "official" because he's been acting like one for quite some time at this point. I wish he had a shirt that said "Sorry, I'm two!" on it. I feel like that would come in handy while we are in public. 

- I think he is actually grasping the fact that he will be having a birthday party. I know he doesn't exactly know what it means, but he's excited none the less. He will say "Party! Party!" and point to his birthday decor that I am feverishly working on at this point. We have a countdown on the fridge which is now sitting at a mere 20 days. It sounds like more than it feels!

- Our house is starting to feel more like a home now. My mom came up a couple of weeks ago to help clean out Ethan's big boy room (aka the "I don't want to find a spot for this yet" room). My mantles are now officially decorated, things are put away and I even have a staircase gallery in place with lots of family pictures. It feels soooo much better! 

- The hubs is out of town this week. This will be the first time he has been away for any length of time. I'm sure we will be just fine, but it's always nerve wracking knowing that you don't have a reprieve coming at the end of the day. Seriously...hats off to military moms and single parents out there. Ethan and I will definitely be missing my husband as he is one super great dad! 

- I know I haven't done a pregnancy update lately....I'm seriously slacking on keeping up with number 2...shame on me. Things are still going well though. I've definitely passed the cute pregnancy phase and am headed into the "Holy crap you are big" stage. Fun times. I've got my glucose test on Thursday and will be keeping my fingers crossed that things go well there. We had our maternity/family pictures done last night and I couldn't be happier with the sneak peek our photographer posted today. Head on over to my FB page to check those out. I'll be sure to post more once I get the disc!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Time to Pay it Forward

I've had a few things laid on my heart lately and while I haven't sorted everything out in my head just yet to be able to put all of them into words I am at least ready to talk about one of them and that is being more thankful and giving. I know I've briefly touched on this before, but I'm not the most joyful giver...of anything. I'm kind of a "I'll tend to my business and you tend to yours" type of gal. That worked for awhile and then I entered a phase of life (*ahem* motherhood) that blew my socks off and required me to ask for help.

Asking for help has never been an easy task...okay,'s getting easier now, but it's hard for me to not be in control of it all and equally hard for me to know that I simply can't do it all on my own. I've had some amazing people step up to the plate and help me in my times of need and I could not be more thankful. In fact, my mom is on her way to rescue me right now as I am chin deep in numerous projects that need to get done before baby Jackson arrives. Seriously...she's driving 4.5 hours to help me clean out a room. That's no fun. That's giving. 

I wish I could say I give back to those around me, but I'd be lying. It's something that I desperately need to work on and make sure I carve out time for. I tend to pack my schedule so full of projects and what not that I have a hard time seeing that there is any time left to give to anyone else. I'm pretty sure that's the definition of selfishness right there. Yep...I'm admitting it...I'm self absorbed.

I think we all go through seasons like this and for me...this has admittedly been a long one. I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of this post was except that I felt convicted to share it. My hope is to become a more joyful giver. I want to see past myself more and shift the focus to others. I believe this comes naturally to some people, but for me...not so much. Wish me luck!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Show & Tell - Baby Talk

Today I am linking up with From Mrs to Mama for a little Show & Tell to talk to you all about Babies! Such a stretch for me right??? Mmmk...

1. Tell us your favorite Baby Names if you have some...

Well...this question isn't going to be so much fun because I'm not a big sharer of baby names. People like to steal or comment negatively and what fun is that? I've got a couple girl names in my back pocket, but I'm fresh out of boy names at the moment. You'll just have to wait and see ;)

2. Show me your dream nursery...

Just this weekend I actually put a mood board together for Jackson's future nursery. I'd been coming up with absolutely nothing then it finally hit Jack wants Elephants! The same thing happened with Ethan...birds all the way (see his nursery here). I could see nothing else. And you know what, E loves him some birds (or Ka-Ka's as he says). So apparently Jackson is a future little elephant lover. 

I plan on using all the same furniture from Ethan's nursery and making my own crib skirt. There are a few other (okay a lot of other) DIY projects in this plan as well. Let's hope I can make this dream nursery a reality with only 3 months left to go. Did I mention I still need to do Ethan's Big Boy Room and finish crafting stuff for E's birthday? Eeeks. 

3. How many children would you like to have? How far apart?

I have always wanted four. I've always dreamed of having a big family and can totally envision us all getting together for family dinners when everyone is all grown and having children of their own. Unfortunately that means I have to go through this "terrible two" phase FOUR time though doesn't it? Hmmm, we will see how 2 goes, but I really think 4 will be our number. 

I'll probably put a little gap between number 2 and number 3. I'm not sure I could handle having 3 in the house all day so preferably E would be in school before number 3 arrives, but we will see. I tend to be impatient. I'd cluster number 3 and 4 together though. I don't want to be ancient by the time I'm preggo with number 4. 

4. What is the most important thing about parenting?

I think this answer will change with every parenting stage, but for the toddler stage? Rolling with the punches. Being able to read your kid and know their limits. Being able to laugh off are crazy, gross, messy and completely unpredictable. The biggest most important thing having patience. I'm still learning about that one.

5. Show us your favorite newborn picture...

6. Tell us some things you promised you would never do as a parent...

Do I have to? I've broken most of those rules already haha. 

1. No ipad especially in the car....guilty. The kid doesn't sleep in the car anymore and Curious George is the only thing that will make the screaming go away.

2. I never thought I'd be that mom that would let my kid run around pantsless all day. Now? I think pants are totally overrated at least in the house anyways...okay and maybe the yard.

3. Let my kid have a paci past 2...that one I stuck with! It was gone by 6 months.

4. Let my kid make a scene at a restaurant...yeah...guilty. Apparently there are some things you just don't have control over.

5. This isn't something I said I would never do, but I am surprised at how messy I let my kid get and how little it bothers me. I thought I would be really uptight about this, but turns out I'm pretty into just letting him do his own thing and experience the world around him no matter how dirty he gets in the process.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Friday Letters

Dear son,

It's cool that you are having your "Daddy's boy" phase and all, but could you please stop treating mommy like she's some kind of child abuser while we are out together in public? Sometimes mommy needs to hold your hand. I promise the world won't end just because it's not daddy's. 

Broken Hearted

Dear Lola,

I know you are completely against us having a second child. I sense your disgust every time you pee in our closet, hide under the bed or run away from me in the backyard. Mama is getting too tired to chase you so I hope you bring your doggie GPS next time you decide to run. 

Lady with Dog for Sale

Dear OB,

I saw through your sly words this morning when you cleverly mentioned that I should be gaining only a pound a week at this point and then added that I had gained 6 since our last appointment 4 weeks ago. I'm also fairly sure that when you mentioned I had "blossomed" you were really telling me to lay off the cake. More importantly, I didn't appreciate it much when you handed me a bill for all the care you haven't provided just yet. That's fantastic. I love getting ginormous bills 3 months in advance without notice. 

Cake Taste Tester for Hire

Dear Martha Stewart,

I decided to share my lunch break with you yesterday and unfortunately came out feeling  worse about myself. I saw your perfectly folded kitchen towels, perfectly planned birthday ideas and perfectly decorated cakes. Yay you. Oh, and I'm sure your perfectly made bed is so much prettier than mine because you iron your sheets and I do not. You, yes you, are the perfect housewife please let me give you a gold star. I do wish you would fess up and admit that you probably have a billion assistants that do all of this for you. I do not find your show to be inspiring.

Cranky Housewife

Dear Horomones,

You are certainly in full swing this pregnancy. You have filled me with anxiety, exhausted me with frustration and single handedly raised my electric bill with all the hot flashes you are throwing me. The calmness I had while pregnant with Ethan has completely reversed with Jackson. Seriously can shove it.

All Hot and Bothered

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Toddler Time - Color Matching

This week I was extra productive and created two crafts for Ethan to play with. In fact, I did them in the same day and one while he was even awake! That right there should tell you how easy these two activities are to make! 

The first one I made was crafted from an idea on Pinterest. It basically involves matching pipe cleaners with color coded holes. Look at that concentration!

Here is what you need to get started....

Empty Pringles can with lid
Pipe Cleaners (about 8 different colors)
Hammer and screw (yeah screw...has to create a big enough hole for the pipe cleaners to go through)
Craft paint
1 sheet of construction paper or cardstock
Packing tape or clear contact paper


1. Carefully hammer holes into the metal bottom of the can. It will dent a little so try not to take all of your toddler mommy frustrations out on the poor can. 

2. Next I painted the bottom of the can white just for looks. I then painted the holes each a different color to match up with the pipe cleaners I had on hand. And no, I didn't take the time to make it pretty ;) It's definitely home made folks.

3. This step is really optional but I covered the can with a piece of construction paper and used packaging tape on top of that so there wouldn't be a problem later with greasy finger marks. You don't have to cover it, but I knew my kid would be more interested in the missing chips than the game if I didn't do it. You could paint it too...just use whatever you have on hand.

Now it's time for the fun to begin!

A lot of times the key to making these activities really work is asking the right questions. If he had a green pipe cleaner in his hand I couldn't simply just ask him to match it to the green one because he would look for another pipe cleaner. I needed to point at the holes and ask him which one it went in..."No, that hole is red and you have a green pipe cleaner" as I pointed out exactly what I meant by pipe cleaner and hole. You just have to keep changing your instructions around until you find what works.

I promise he was having fun. Don't mind the teary "I hate waking up from naps" eyes. Or the runny nose....

I fully expect that the more we use the same activities over and over, the easier it will become. The goal is just to make it fun the first go around. Neither of you need to get frustrated :) 

The best part is that all the pipe cleaners are self contained in the can since you have the lid on the bottom. And we all know how toddlers love to dump things out! Save the best for last right?

I also wanted to share one other color matching activity we did this week that was super easy to make.

For complete instructions please visit Rach over at Life Ever Since who actually made this as part of a craft swap. I did mine just a touch different by using a two craft punches, magnets and contact paper. Again, it's all about using what you have on hand.

Thanks Rach for the great idea. Ethan loved it! 

Happy Toddler Time!

(Linking up today with Cajun Cowgirl and Momma Mar)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: Ethan at 22 Months

**Today Ethan is officially 23 months, but let's take a look back at month 22!**

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Cloth Diapering *almost* 2 Years Later

Several people who come across this blog land on my cloth diapering posts. The story really isn't complete yet as the way I use them seem to be constantly changing. I figured since we are on the eve of Ethan's 23rd month now would be the perfect time to do a little updating. 

We are still using Fuzzibunz diapers. I have a mixture of mediums and one sizes and honestly don't prefer one over the other at this point. I don't think we will have a problem growing out of them before he is potty trained (or at least I hope not anyways!). Before we moved back in April, I had began getting a little frustrated with the diapering situation. I'm not exactly sure when the problems actually began, but Ethan would always wake up wet in the mornings and sometimes after naps. In fact, it got to the point where I just let him sleep pants-less for nap time so I didn't have additional laundry to do. There were also times that he would leak in the carseat so I was always sure to change him right before we got in the car and then again before we got out and it was getting a little time consuming. 

I tried stripping them (which did help some) and I double stuffed with hemp liners and even triple stuffed at night time. I adjusted leg holes and what not but nothing really seemed to be working. A friend suggested I switch to bum genius, but we had one which I had bought from the beginning and I still didn't find a solution with it. I'm sure I could have bought a selection of different types of diapers to try and maybe found a solution, but really at that point in the game I had no interest in reinvesting. 

Once we moved in April I quickly found out I would have to give up cloth diapering for a little bit when I was unable to install our diaper sprayer in the rental house. Yes, there are other ways of getting poop off a diaper, but my first trimester nose just couldn't handle any of those other options so I went to disposables. 

I'll be the first to admit that disposables are for sure much easier and really 100% dependable (at least in our case), but the downside is that they are expensive. I could tell the toll it took on our budget pretty quickly and honestly money was the number one reason I had decided to cloth diaper in the first place. While we didn't have any leak issues, I knew that I would be going back to cloth once we moved into our new place.

At this point we are doing a mixture of cloth and disposables and I couldn't be happier. He wears disposables at night and at nap times. I also always put him in them when we leave the house so I never have to worry about bringing him a spare outfit. While we are at the house though? I put him in cloth and am always sure to double stuff with a Hemp Babies liner. No, I'm not saving as much money as I did before, but I'm still saving. We buy one huge box of diapers a month (like the 120 count size) which I just order online to save a little money. Any disposable money saving tips would be appreciated as I'm new to this!

As for baby Jackson? I will be doing more of the same. I plan on cloth diapering him as much as possible. All of the diapers I have for Ethan will still work just fine for the new baby and perhaps the one after that! If he begins leaking I'll just do a mixture of cloth and disposables again. I believe you have to do what works for you and your family and this seems to work for us. 

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