Monday, August 12, 2013

A status update

Tomorrow is the official first day of school. Ethan did a summer camp program, so it probably shouldn't even feel like a new season to us, but yet it does. We had a two week break between summer camp and the fall program and during that time we've been wrapping summer up and gearing up for the end of the year rush.

Things have been good, but busy. I feel like I'm in one of those seasons where everyone needs something from me but there just isn't enough of me to go around. Oh wait....that is the definition of motherhood isn't it? I think the difference this go around is that I'm feeling that I need a lot of me right now as well and it just isn't jiving with everything else going on.

My mind consistently goes a million miles an hour and my emotions are on a crazy swinging pendulum. I know this season in life will soon get its self straightened out, but for now I'm feeling very unfulfilled in many ways while at the same time I feel extremely grateful if that makes any sense.

I recently read somewhere that instead of saying "I don't have time." You should say "It's not a priority.". I feel like I go round and round with this. When I succeed in one thing, I fail somewhere else. When I meet someone else's need, I forgo my own and when I make myself a priority, I fail someone else. Guilt ensues, I shift priorities and so on and so on. Round and round it goes. 

As I was explaining this to my husband, he asked me what we could do to make it better. He's all about a plan of action on these sorts of things. My suggestion was that we need the kids to be 6. And in school. Full time. Then...then things will right themselves. He suggested a more realistic and timely plan would be to "set aside x amount of time for x activities.". I laughed, because anyone knows with children things never go as planned. 

I have so many things I want to write about from an operation get fit update, to the detox details, Jackson's 7 (and 8) month updates among some other completed Pintrest projects, but for now I just don't feel like knocking out that task list, but in time, hopefully all of those things will be appearing here. It's just that teensy problem of finding time (or shifting priorities I should say)...I'm sure you all are familiar with that little situation. I assure you I will get to it before the kids are 6. 

That's a pinky promise.


  1. You're not alone! I feel like I run around everyday like a chicken with my head cut off and that everything I do gets interrupted...I'm sure my husband thinks I'm crazy 95% of the time right now. I keep telling myself that this is just the status of my life right now with two small kids and that I'm doing the best I can- you are too! Hang in there :)

    1. I go in cycles where a few days I am on top of everything, but then something will happen...someone will get sick, we start a new project, etc...and things will be out of control all over again. I'm just trying to come to terms with where I am at the moment and hope that I can slowly stop that feeling of constantly failing because it's not's just life.

  2. Yes! This year is on fast forward, and I feel like I can't catch up. I mean it's practically September and you know how fast it goes once the holidays start!

    1. Literally...I have a mini heart attack every time I think about the fact that it is practically fall already!

  3. Hopefully you'll have a bit more you time when school starts back for Ethan! It's crazy how there are truly never enough hours in the day. I often feel like I'm on this very same emotional cycle. If you find the magic secret let me know, I'll do the same :)

    1. I'm so glad I'm not alone on this. Maybe that is the magic secret in itself!


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