I had high hopes that the breastfeeding issue would go well with Jackson. Before he arrived I had figured it would go one of two ways...(A) I'd produce enough to make him full and happy and we'd go about our marry breastfeeding ways or (B) it would be painstakingly annoying like it was with Ethan where I'd spend 20 minutes attached to a pump to get out a measly half an ounce and I'd happily and wholeheartedly switch over to formula with no regrets. Either way...I was NOT going to stress about it like I did last time. No way, no how. What I didn't plan for was option (C).
I never was good with multiple choice questions.
I was very scheduled and by the book with Ethan. Honestly, it was the only way that I thought I could get him through babyhood without killing him. I knew nothing about babies. I needed the book and the clock to tell me how. Instinct? No. I had none.
With Jackson...I've thrown the books to the curb. I don't know what milestones we are suppose to be meeting week to week. I hardly ever have time to look at the clock much less document every pee, poop and feeding we have. The itzbeen timer? Yeah, that thing is still sitting in the basement with its corroded batteries.
At first...breastfeeding was an absolute dream. I thought I had that shiz in the bag. He cried, I fed him. He was full, happy and content. My freezer was filling up like we were preparing for the apocalypse.
Fast forward 3-ish weeks later. I had a screaming, gassy baby who was constantly spitting up and that constantly wanted to be on the boob. I put out a call for help and many of you thankfully offered very helpful suggestions. Between you and Dr. Google I figured out that I probably needed to try and cut out dairy. Unfortunately...it takes dairy 2-3 weeks to completely get out of your system so jury is still out on whether it's the culprit. I will say things are looking up, but this issue is still by no means solved.
I'm a week and a half in on the dairy free diet and let me tell you it has not been easy. I've never been one to succeed at diets that revolved around cutting out things because guess what happens? When you tell me I can't have something it is all that I can think about. I literally feel the saliva building up in my mouth when I see pictures of cheese now. All I want is a freaking piece of cheese!!!
I do think that the dairy free thing is helping. It's either that or just the fact that Jackson's digestive system is getting a little more mature. That's the frustrating thing with breastfeeding and babies. There is no definitive diagnosis. In fact, doctors prove to be very unhelpful in these issues (more on that later).
I'm not sure where this road is going to lead us. A month ago I was blissfully contemplating on breastfeeding a whole year. Could I really do it?! Today, I couldn't promise you I wouldn't pull out that can of formula by the end of this week. I have nothing against formula. Absolutely nothing. I just really wanted this to work this time around.
For now, I'm going to stick with being dairy free. I'll be dosing out the Gripe Water and Mylicon drops and changing me and the baby's outfits at least 3 times a day. At Jackson's 2 month appointment I'll talk to the doctor and see where we should go from there. I'm hoping that as the weeks go on, that Jack will continue to feel better and better. If not, I'll open up a whole new can of worms and switch to formula.
And yes, formula is can of worms. Did I mention it took several types of formula to figure out what worked for Ethan? Apparently my kids have sensitive tummies.
All images are property of Laura Sager unless otherwise noted.