I've done almost everything different this time around with Jackson (more on that to come). One thing I've said would never happen was rooming in. I fully believe that recovery time is important and part of recovery is much needed rest after birth. This time was so different though. I wasn't exhausted from the birth experience. I didn't need a nap. My body wasn't physically tired. Yes, of course, I needed to recover, but I just felt so much better this time around.
I think also having been a mom before, I couldn't help but feel like Jackson would be better off in my care. The first go around I had no idea what I was doing and felt like the nurses would take better care of Ethan than I, but this time...I wanted his every moment.
As far as recovery went for me, it was night and day from last time. In fact, I was itching to get out of that hospital and back to my own house and bed. I was still in pain, but my body didn't suffer from trying to birth both ways this time.
Another change we made this time was really limiting visitors. I knew that the hospital was the one place Michael and I could solely focus on Jackson. I wanted to make sure we got the rest we needed before we headed into the whirlwind of parenting two.
When it was finally time to go home we thankfully had (and continue to have) help at the house. I have completely taken advantage of that this time. The first time I felt so much pressure (from myself) to prove that I could do it all. This time, I knew how precious the gift of help was. I sat on the couch for the better part of that week fully absorbing Jackson while everyone else picked up my slack.
Ethan hasn't paid too much attention to Jackson even at this point. He comes and kisses on the baby from time to time, but honestly he has been really focused in on spending time with his grandparents. He has been in hog heaven having them around! He's shown little hints of jealousy, but only when the grandparents hold Jackson for longer than he thinks they should. He will tell them "baby sleep" and show them where to put him. Other than that though he could really care less if I'm holding him (for now anyways).
He did end up having a little bit of jaundice that still seems to be working it's way out of his little body. Thankfully we did not have to do anything to help it go away, but we did have to take him for daily foot pricking for awhile there. Finally his numbers started going down though and I'm seeing daily improvement.
This week is my last week of live-in help. To say that I am terrified of being alone with both kids is an understatement. It will be interesting to say the least to see how everything goes that first week.
I'm sure we will survive, although it might not be pretty and I'm guaranteeing that there will be tears from everyone at some point or another. Stuff's about to get real up in here. {Hold me}.
I was so nervous the first day on my own. But you'll find your new normal!! Beautiful birth story
ReplyDeleteI was so nervous the first day on my own. But you'll find your new normal!! Beautiful birth story
ReplyDeleteAww. Sweet boys! I can't wait for these moments!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to hear what differences and changes you made this time. I told Jarrod the same - I don't want lots of visitors this time. People can wait. I want that alone time for just us.
There were many many tears shed the night before my husband went back to work, but I'm happy to report...things have been going really well. I know it will be the same for you and your sweet boys! I think we are hesitant to give our big boys credit some time. Good luck momma...I'll be thinking about you:)
ReplyDeleteThat last photo warms my heart...you'll adjust..we all do. There will be good and bad days, but you'll make it through.
ReplyDeleteThe first few days are interesting, but you'll be just fine...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by how capable you are- not that there won't be some interesting moments :) Good luck!
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ReplyDeleteOh I just loved this post! It's so nice to hear that the connection this go-around was different. I feel like it will be similar for me when we do it again. I can only imagine what it's like going in knowing what to expect. So glad to hear you've been soaking things up and taking it slow. You deserve it! And? I have no worries you'll do just fine when the house clears out and you're left with you and your boys :)
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