Tomorrow is the first day of Lent. Growing up in a Methodist Church, Lent it something I'm very familiar with. If you are not, here is a beautiful post that will tell you more about it (even if you are familiar with it, I recommend reading it...it's wonderful).
Each year, I always pick something to give up. Most years it's something like caffeine, chocolate or cursing. This year, I can't really have caffeine or chocolate anyway since I'm nursing and currently on a dairy free diet. And cursing....well...I need to have at least one vice right? No, really, it is something I'm still working on.
I have always been strong willed and self-efficient. There have been times in my life where I was determined to not need anybody. I didn't even think I needed God. As I get older, I realize how much God truly has His hands in my life. I realize how much I do need Him. My faith is constantly a work in progress and in the past few years I feel like it has really grown by leaps and bounds.
When I started to think about what I would "give up" this year, I realized that I hadn't been doing Lent justice in the past. Lent isn't just about giving up one of your vices. It's not even about succeeding. It's about relying on God. It's about forgiveness, prayer and remembrance.
So, I dug deeper than chocolate, caffeine and even cursing.
I asked God what He wanted me to be working on and loud and clear I heard His answer. I needed to work on patience.
It has always been a struggle of mine and now with two kids I need it more than ever. It is truly something I need God's help with. It is something that brings me to tears and my knees in prayer.
This year for Lent, I'm making it more about God and less about deprivation. For the next 40 days, I hope to pray about it often. I want to ask for forgiveness when I fail and am my normal impatient self. I want to find Biblical passages about patience for inspiration. I want to truly reflect.
For the next 40 days, I aim to make God more present in my life.