Thursday, November 29, 2012

37 Weeks and Why I'm Choosing a C-Section


Weekly doctor visits really make the reality of what's about to happen sink in. With only 1 maybe 2 visits left I'm starting (yes, starting) to realize that maybe asking some questions about things might be a good idea. You see, I usually just use the avoidance tactic when an uncomfortable experience is on the horizon. If I don't think about it, don't talk about it then it's not going to happen right?

Right.

Um, no.

Pretty sure this c-section thing is going to be happening again and very soon. And yes, I'm a planned c-section. No, I'm not trying for a V-BAC. I know *some* people frown upon planned c-sections. It's like they think it's the easy way out. No work, just lay there and have the baby cut out of you...no damage to ahem certain areas below. 

I did not want a c-section the first go around. I cried when they told me there was no other option. I tried to wait for Ethan to come on his own, I had to be induced and went through all the motions...even the pushing and he just wouldn't come out. A big baby plus a small pelvis equaled c-section in my case.

I felt like I failed.

I felt like people thought I'd given up.

Sometimes things just are what they are.

This time around I expected a c-section. I did not investigate a V-BAC all that much. There are some people out there that really have a strong desire to have a natural birth and have that true birthing experience and that is amazing. I personally am concerned with the baby getting here and everyone being healthy. I'm not saying that the other people aren't...I completely understand where they are coming from and fully support it...but my desire for that just isn't quite as strong. I see a V-BAC as a risk to both my health and my baby's health. Situations could arise that would land me not just in a c-section, but an emergency c-section and could possibly take away my chances of having more children and those risks are just not something I'm willing to take on.

With that said, I have to admit that I am beginning to get extremely nervous about this upcoming surgery. I didn't have much time to think about what was going to happen when I had one with Ethan, but this time around I feel like everything is going to be so...well...operational. I get nervous about getting my blood drawn, so you can imagine the anxiety I feel about having my abdomen sliced opened. And yes, I've done it before...and no, that doesn't make me feel any better about it.



Last week we had an accidental ultrasound. I was seeing a nurse practitioner instead of my regular OB and somehow landed in the ultrasound room. I asked why I was there, but I guess my confusion did not seem to matter to them. I found out that my fluids were just fine and that I have a BIG healthy boy growing inside. At 36 weeks he was weighing in at 7 pounds 6 ounces and is on track to be a 9 pound baby. Of course those are just estimates, but it would not surprise me any seeing as how Ethan was 8 pounds 7 ounces although he was born at 41 weeks and Jackson will be at 39. 

Those numbers kind of solidified things for me. There is no way this baby would have even been able to come out the natural way with numbers like that. My body just wasn't made for it. My hips just never widen. A c-section is definitely the right choice for me

Birthing and raising babies are so very personal. Everyone has different ways and beliefs and that is just a-okay. In the end, there are no trophies handed out. And I wish there was no judgement passed, but there is. All that matters though is that we get to come home with our little (or big) bundles of joy and do our very best to raise happy children. We all just take different paths to get there and that should be respected.




Linking up with Things I Can't Say for Pour Your Heart Out.

14 comments :

  1. It's sad that you feel like you need to be defensivd about getting a c-section. Don't worry about what other people think. It is your body and you and your doctors know what is best-nobody else matters. I hope it all goes smoothly for you!!

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  2. I hear you girl! I had to have a repeat C and honestly, I never thought twice about it. I initially asked my doc about a VBAC but their practice doesn't even do them so that was that. I can't say I fully grasp the strong desire you speak of to have a natural, vaginal birth (Um.. do you read ModgBlog?!)... Yea. I don't get it. Gimme my healthy baby as safely and quickly as possible, please and thank you :)

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  3. It's a shame that we as women have to constantly defend our choices as mothers. As long as mom and baby are happy and healthy, I don't see why it matters how they get here. Good for you for doing what you believe is best for you and your baby. In the end, yours is the only opinion that matters anyways!

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  4. I tried to VBAC as it was very important to me and ended up with another csection anyway. Yep, I was part of the less than one percent chance of uterine rupture. It sucked, was super scary, and has put me at a higher risk if we choose to have more children. I knew the risk I was taking, and I know that I am glad I tried (I would have regretted it if I didn't), but there is a reason that VBACs are considered higher risk. You don't have to defend what you want to do- it's your body and your baby :) We're just so lucky that we have an option on how to get big babies out nowdays (Spence was 9lbs 2oz)- 100 years ago we wouldn't have lived through childbirth.

    It is better the second time around, I think. You know what you need to know from the first and you know not to push yourself. Make sure you are getting plenty of fiber and fluids so that you don't get constipated. That's the best advice I can give you!!

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  5. First of all, how are you just weeks away from delivery?! I swear I just found out you were pregnant!

    On the c-section front, when we have baby dew #2 I will elect for another c-section and I will be proud of it. It's what is best for you and your baby! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about that!

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  6. All that is important is getting your baby here- not how the baby is born!

    I went through natural childbirth with my first(not on purpose- but we were too late getting to the hospital to get any drugs) and OMG, it was so hard. My other two were much easier. I didn't feel like any of the three very different births was the "better" one- no one gives out medals to mamas for how they deliver!

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  7. Birthing your child is your decision and honestly, the goal is to get that squishy baby out healthy and for mama to be healthy too... C-sections make that happen! Congrats on the upcoming birth of your little man!!

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  8. I can't believe you are so close! Personally I agree with your choice of no VBAC. Better safe than sorry! Good luck over the coming weeks. I can't wait to hear the news!

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  9. I hate that women judge each other when it comes to birthin' babies! Haters gonna hate but you are amazing and so brave. Cant wait to meet him!!

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  10. It is interesting to me to read insights from mothers who did not expect a c-section the first time, but are expecting one this time. Mine with Ethan was planned 4 days before it happened, so, that one and this next one will be planned...but I am wondering if I will feel nervous this time. Last time? I didn't feel nervous. I just wanted to be done.

    I, too, am choosing another c-section because I feel the same way you do about VBACs. And I have to admit, part of me DOES feel like I am being judged, and maybe I *should* consider it. But the bigger part of me says no...to absolutely go with my gut, which is, don't risk it, and don't make things worse. Go through the motions you went through before. They're familiar.

    Sorry. That was sort of a book. But it's refreshing, for once, to read another's insight on not choosing a VBAC that I can relate to, when so many people just want to question WHY you won't try.

    Also: I can't believe you're 37 weeks. How did this happen so quickly? Wow!

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  11. Good for you! I never gave it one second's thought as to what others thought about my planned c-section. I also had an emergency c with my first and didn't even consider vbac with my second. It just wasn't for me. And ultimately - it is your decision! Baby's health is first and foremost and I wish you all the best! xo, Kimberly

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  12. I've never had a c-section so I don't know much about it. I did do it the other way (obvs) and I say, you protect your lady bits lady ;) I'm still trying to recover 2 1/2 years later!

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  13. I had to have an emergency C-section as well and at this point am terrified to try a VBAC. Because my body didn't progress I would be very nervous that this time would be the same--so nervous that just trying it would be too much for me! The nurse told me when W was born--there are two ways to have a baby! I truly believe that and do wish people would just support each other!

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  14. i'll have to re-visit this when my time comes!

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