Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Night Sky

There is something about looking at the night sky that makes me feel a great amount of uncertainty. All the sudden it seems like there are an infinite number of possibilities of what might happen in my life. It causes me to feel a mixture of different things. I feel insecure, excited, scared and out of control all at the same time.

In the daytime I feel like I have everything all mapped out. I know what my life is and what it will be. There are no questions. There are no doubts. But when the sun goes down and the stars come out, I start to feel unsure about the amount of control I really have in my life.

Seeing the stars makes me aware of the fact that there is more out there than I can ever possibly imagine. When I look up, I feel as though someone is looking down, whether it be God, people who are no longer with me, the unknown, or all of the above.

I know it should comfort me that someone or something knows how my life might turn out and might know that the troubles that I am experiencing at the time will pass and at some point be insignificant, but it doesn't. I want to feel like I am in control of my own life. I feel that way in the daytime, but the darkness takes it away from me. I become suddenly aware that there are so many outside factors that I cannot control.

Although I don't like this feeling of the unknown, I do think it is a great reality check. We have no idea what paths our lives might take. I have always had this weird habit of thinking about the worst possible outcomes that could happen out of a particular situation. I can come up with some pretty wild and heart wrenching things, but no matter what I think of, life always seems to surprise me. Nothing in life can be fully planned out no matter how hard we try, there will always be twists and turns to knock us off our feet and leave us wondering what will happen next.

I believe the night sky is there for us to remember that we are not always in control. It brings a sense of mystery and excitement. It also brings back the reality of life - uncertainty. Without uncertainty, life would definitely lose some of it's appeal.

Even as children we feel these things. Kids are afraid of the dark and the scary things it might bring. I think even as adults we feel the same way, but with more reason. Children don't know what scary and unplanned things life can bring, but adults do. We might not know the exact things, but we know the possibilities. I think that is what makes me still somewhat frightened of the night sky.

10 comments :

  1. I never thought of the night sky like you described it. This was beautiful writing and great new perspective.

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  2. I really, really love this post, Laura!!! I felt like I was seeing one of the scenes from a movie..

    I love looking at the night sky, often time do it by myself and think about many things, just like youself. It is funny how small I feel when I look at the sky and the stars.. We're just part of the universe...

    I get scared when I think of black holes or if there is any wall or end of the the space:) But most of all, I just want to fly out to the space and look at our planet which I know it will never happen.... What is my life?? That's what I always ask myself when I look at the night sky - it's so peaceful and I know someone is listening to me up there..

    Beautiful post:)

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  3. This was a beautiful post. Very melancholy.

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  4. I always have to be in control of my entire life. I think that's one of my life's biggest faults.

    This is an amazing post.
    I'll have to reflect on it.

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  5. I love this post.

    When I had the most uncertainty in my life I would go outside at night and just look at the stars, as if they knew the answers.

    It seems like ancient cultures really had a better grasp on what the stars might be able to tell us about life.

    But certainly, the stars tell us that life is much bigger than we are. That SOMEONE is much bigger than we are. Much more aware. It is comforting.

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  6. Beautiful post! A food for thought.

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  7. I agree with everybody - that post was beautiful. Made me think.

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  8. I've always thought the second part about the night sky...the one about the possibilities being endless and exciting. And I'm a control FREAK! So, either I'm going to succumb to being scared of the night sky, or you're going to have to become more go-with-the-flow. :)

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  9. I agree completely. The night sky affects me in the same way, especially in winter. I am made to feel like an insignificant speck scrapping against outer space without the benefit of an atmosphere in between. The scale of it, and the limitless of it, is awe inspiring.

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