I have to admit I'm a little scared of how much our lives are going to change once the baby comes. I would like to note that I know that there will be a lot of added joy and happiness and for that I am grateful, but I am also very aware that things will never be the same for Michael and I.
I know that most of me will wonder what we ever did with ourselves before the baby, but a little part of me might also miss what we had before. The freedom that we have now is amazing and let's face it, a lot of that freedom is going to be transformed into responsibility after little Pistachio comes.
I'm not a baby person. I've never babysat and frankly really know nothing about babies. Advanced apologies to little Pistachio as you will be a total experiment. I'm scared of the complete lack of communication (Pistachio not being able to tell us what's wrong, me not being able to verbally explain anything to an infant). I'm scared of the strict schedule a baby requires and wonder if I will be able to do it and do it happily like the baby deserves. I'm also scared of the utter chaos that will most certainly happen in the beginning.
I think that is why I have been in the "We really need to get crap done and fast!" mode lately. I've become very focused on organization and improving the easiness of our overall living in hopes that it will make things a tad bit simpler in the beginning.
I hope that I have the confidence and trust in myself that having a baby requires. I hope that I can provide everything that my baby needs and for the love of God I hope that I do not drop the baby like I dropped Lola when she was a puppy (story here).
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