Monday, April 26, 2010

Fears of Motherhood

I have to admit I'm a little scared of how much our lives are going to change once the baby comes. I would like to note that I know that there will be a lot of added joy and happiness and for that I am grateful, but I am also very aware that things will never be the same for Michael and I.

I know that most of me will wonder what we ever did with ourselves before the baby, but a little part of me might also miss what we had before. The freedom that we have now is amazing and let's face it, a lot of that freedom is going to be transformed into responsibility after little Pistachio comes.

I'm not a baby person. I've never babysat and frankly really know nothing about babies. Advanced apologies to little Pistachio as you will be a total experiment. I'm scared of the complete lack of communication (Pistachio not being able to tell us what's wrong, me not being able to verbally explain anything to an infant). I'm scared of the strict schedule a baby requires and wonder if I will be able to do it and do it happily like the baby deserves. I'm also scared of the utter chaos that will most certainly happen in the beginning.

I think that is why I have been in the "We really need to get crap done and fast!" mode lately. I've become very focused on organization and improving the easiness of our overall living in hopes that it will make things a tad bit simpler in the beginning.

I hope that I have the confidence and trust in myself that having a baby requires. I hope that I can provide everything that my baby needs and for the love of God I hope that I do not drop the baby like I dropped Lola when she was a puppy (story here).


  1. I've not had a child yet, but I think that those are pretty common fears. And, the fact that you are worried about it means that you'll be a great Mom! It will work out :) xoxo, KA

  2. I'm not a baby person either. I don't particularly like other peoples kids but I think I will feel differently about my own.

    You will do great, the 'mom' gene will kick in soon!

  3. lol@ the apologies in advance to your little one

    all i can say...go to as many movies as you want

    other than that i'm no help to you...

    i was a huge baby person...and couldn't wait to have lots of kids! :o)

  4. Oh Laura...You are in for such an incredible adventure...for starters...Do you plan to nurse?(I the baby such a great start, gives them antibodies so they will get less sick, and grow up to be healthier. Easier when they wake up at bottles to warm up...I have more info for you via email if you want it.)

    I had my first daughter at 30 and my second at 32. I thought I knew what love was all about...until I saw that little sweet face! So many powerful emotions...when you nurse, you feel so powerful, because you provide ALL your babie's needs.

    I was afraid of having another girl because I thought I would not love her as much as the first....What a lesson that was! I never knew the capacity of love until I had both my daughters.

    Yes, live will be different...but it will be sooooooo worth it. When you and your husband have your special time will be more meaningful. (Be prepared, because you will be very tired at he can show his love by being helpful and understanding. It will make your bond of love even stronger.

    I am available any time you wish to discuss pregnancy and nursing. Precious, precious, wonderful memories...


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