Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I Hate Being Treated Like An Idiot

I have always hesitated to ask for help. Sometimes it's pride, but usually it's because I'm afraid that whatever question I have is something stupid and that I will be treated like an idiot. For that very reason, I hardly ever go to the doctor and I definitely avoid calling with questions.

But now I'm a mom. A mom to a beautiful baby boy that seems to not be gaining weight. He weighed 8lbs 7oz at birth, dropped to 7lbs 15oz by the time we left the hospital. At a month old my scale said he was only at 9lbs....seemed low to me. Panic mode ensues, I read baby books, I google.....my fears mount. I then turn to calling my mom. I hope she has a simple answer. I hope she tells me not to worry. But I know she's going to tell me to call the doctor. And I know she will keep asking if I've called the doctor until I do it.

I call the office and they tell me to just come in to check his weight on their scale and make sure mine is right and if there is a problem we would have to schedule an appointment at another time. Sounds perfect to me. I'm hoping that my scale is wrong and I just want to know if I should be worrying or not.

My mom comes with me (thanks to the C-Section I still can't drive (not sure why) and I can't carry the carrier) and we wait for an hour in the waiting room for the room with the scale to open up. I don't mind...I know I don't have an appointment and they are doing me a favor. We finally get called by and a nurse who makes it apparent that she's too busy to deal with us shows us back.

She asks "Why are you here?" I simply explain the above that he weighed 8lbs 7oz at birth and now he weighs 9lbs. Her response was "So???" Immediately my face flushes as I explain that he's a month old and I thought he should weigh more at this point...is this correct? She responds that he looks healthy to her and that I should have been more worried about taking him in a waiting room full of sick people than his weight. Side note: I was smart enough to sit far away from anyone and no one looked that sick honestly.

At this point I don't know how to respond. I asked if I needed to undress him to weigh him she said don't bother and put him on the scale....9lbs 3oz....my scale was correct. She said "Okay, there you go." I of course was not satisfied with this response...I wanted to know if it was okay...again she responded that he looked healthy and that I was just being an overactive first time mom and that I should stop reading baby books and just relax.

I was seriously almost to the point of tears. I felt like such an idiot. Thankfully at this point the doctor walked in (he had been doing paperwork outside the room during this whole scene and really wasn't supposed to even meet with me). He told me that he was on the low end and I asked about how much I was supposed to be feeding him which he responded as I figured he would saying there was no magic number which drives me crazy. He told me that if he hadn't gained more weight by the time I come back in two weeks that we could do a blood test just to make sure everything was okay.

I think he solely came in because of the way the nurse had treated me. In all honesty I would have canceled my next appointment and gone somewhere else if he hadn't come in. I'm still going to use him on a trial basis at this next appointment. I just hate to not give him a second chance.

I have gotten madder and madder the more I think about this experience. I'm a first time mom, I should feel comfortable calling the doctor when I have questions. I'm sure I will have several in the coming months and I don't want to feel like I can't call if needed. Ugh. If it happens again - hopefully I'll be able to give them a piece of my mind. I think it's time I grow my mom claws.


  1. I cannot believe how rude that nurse was to you! That is outrageous. I think that it is completely normal to worry about your baby and I would've done the exact same thing. And in all honesty, this woman works at a pediatricians office--she should know how to conduct herself with empathy and kindness. She has no place to judge you.


  2. ok hating the nurse right now....why not in the inner room start checking out other dr's...(ask friends..post on fb etc) sometimes you talk to the nurses more than the dr and you really need to have a great trust and communication w/the nurse...the whole freakin staff! as a first time mom...heck any # mom..haha..you should be able to call or come in to ease any fears. that is their job!

    that chick obviously needs to find a new profession. i guess she forgot what being a nurse was all about! shesh!

  3. I am with the other two ladies above....the nurse was rude and out of line. As a new mom, you have every right to worry about your baby. If we can't rely on medical professionals, who can we rely on for answers? I would give them one more chance, and if they are still not providing you with comfort & unbiased helpful information/advice, then I would find a new office.


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