Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Keeping It Real

Yesterday's post was at least the second time if not third that I've posted something that included an apology. 

Now that I look back, I realize how silly that was.

I hate to admit this, but sometimes I forget to just write for me. Sometimes I write with my audience in mind. *Gasp!* People want rainbows and sunshine. If there is a post about a particular struggle, they would prefer that it ended tied up in a pretty little bow that includes a life lesson and everyone dancing off into the sunset. It makes a great read, but that's just not life though...or at least not all the time. And, that's ok.

Sometimes as a mommy blogger, I feel the pressure to make everything just peachy. Sure there are some trials and tribulations everyone goes through as a parent and that we all freely share on our blogs: the sleep deprivation, the household chores that seem to never end, the sprinkles that are shoved up little noses and the furniture that our one year old's break. (Oh wait, you didn't go through those last two? Just me then, huh.) But I think deep down as moms, we feel the pressure to exude happiness at all times. Your children's childhood memories depend on it right? After all, this blog will be a reflection of my child's life experiences when everything is said and done. So maybe the audience I'm thinking about also includes my son one day.

It's funny how things change. Last year around this time I was fully immersed in being a mother. I had set myself aside and completely turned my focus on my newborn. This year, as things have calmed down and settled in, I see my focus being able to split so that I can include myself back in the picture. I like that. I miss me. I want this blog to be a reflection of both me as a mom and me as, well, me. 

Sometimes I have a hard time separating those two people. While, deep down, I know this isn't true, I guess what I'm really afraid of is that my son will think that my unhappiness with myself is a reflection of my happiness with him. In the end, that's why I was really apologizing in those previous posts.

I think I'll go ahead and blame these feelings on the mommy guilt that apparently all mothers are given as some sort of twisted push present. That internal fear that we will do something to screw up our child's childhood. I don't want my own personal struggles to become that issue for Ethan.

It's a delicate balance to be me as a mom and me as me. Hopefully soon I will find it. In between time, I will be remembering that it's not necessary to exude happiness at every moment, either in real life or blog life.


  1. I think we all go through this - when one thing starts to define our identity (i.e. being a mom), then any time we are down and out, we worry that we are being a bad momr. But life isn't that cut and dry, and life doesn't live in compartments - it's all one bug, jumbled mess and sometimes sorting through emotions and their real root is hard, hard stuff. Hang in there - this too shall pass!

  2. You are 100% right. I prefer reading more "real blogs" than the- "I've got rainbows coming out my ass all the time"

    This is real life. Real moms. Real ups and real downs.


  3. I am REALLY late in catching up with blogs, so, forgive me for only getting to see your layout now (not sure how new it is). It's so cute!

    You should never have to apologize. Keep writing for you - that's what we love about your blog. :)

  4. Life is not all glitter and unicorns, why is that so hard to remember when it comes to the blog? I love reading posts about Ethan, but seeing the posts about just you is fabulous. It's tough remaining yourself and your momself, I think its something we're all working on :)

  5. People can't relate to unrealistic rainbows. I prefer the real deal, personally! Besides, life lessons at the end are best accompanied by cheesy background music like in the 20 minute family sitcoms, and that's nearly impossible on a blog space. Sending love your way. I really am RIGHT THERE with you.

  6. Writing about it is the first step to fixing it. ;o) Seriously though, you're not alone! The sad part is, by being the 'happy mommy' all the time, we're teaching our kids that happiness is the only acceptable emotion to feel.

    I'm not saying we need to be Negative Nancy's all the time, but it's okay to exude what you're actually feeling. It's healthy! And you'll be able to teach your children that happiness is the goal, but every day isn't going to be peachy keen! And that's okay!

  7. I was thinking this when I read your last post! I too am just now getting back to me again and it does feel good ! Now to learn to balance the 2. When I try to remember what it was like at their age, I get nothing. I can't remember being 18 mos old and neither will they!


Comments make my day! Go ahead...get to typing. I want to hear from you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Creative Commons License

My Thoughts - Uninterrupted by Laura Sager is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at http://www.mythoughts-uninterrupted.blogspot.com/p/contact.html.

All images are property of Laura Sager unless otherwise noted.