I've written at least five posts today and gone back and deleted them every time. Everything is coming out depressing and blah right now. And while, I might be having those feelings, I also feel ridiculous for expressing them when I have so many good things in my life right now too.
The other night I was talking to my husband and I ended up breaking down and crying about just how hard it is to be an adult. I was tired of feeling guilty about wanting to do things for myself, I was tired of feeling run down, I was tired of feeling tired. I've been having a hard time finding the joy in life lately. Everything feels like a chore....even the good things.
The sad thing is that no one is to blame for the way that I feel except myself. I cause so many of my own problems. If someone else were to blame I could easily tell them how to fix it, but when it comes to fixing me, I struggle.
I'm trying hard to keep a happy face, but really even that is tiring. Truth be told I just want to sink into a hole and hide for a little bit. I constantly feel like I have to give myself a pep talk to get through life. "It's okay, you can do this." "Just start doing something and things will fall back into place." I'm missing my zeal for life right now and I want more than anything to get it back.
I'm almost embarrassed to publish this post because I'm aware of the annoying whininess. I'm sure this will pass, but for now I'm just going to keep pushing my way through life. Hopefully, before I know it, I'll be waltzing my way through instead of pushing.
All images are property of Laura Sager unless otherwise noted.